This Blog is the journal/scrapbook/photo album etc. that is all about my family and our lives together. Here is where family and friends (and anyone else too, I suppose) can keep up on what's happening with us Mannimals! COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED!! ;) Check back often as we'll respond to comments and make new posts as often as possible!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Last Day Folfing With The Kids Before The Abduction

So the other night I found myself crying unexpectedly.  And it was from watching Mrs. Doubtfire of all things...!  I hadn't seen it since it first came out but I thought I remembered thinking it was pretty funny despite the need to suspend reality to have Robin Williams playing an old woman and none of his family recognizing him.  I got the movie channels for free for a day for some reason, so I decided to save Doubtfire to watch after dinner.  It was a hard watch, to say the least.  I had forgotten much of the show and it was crazy just how close my story of the past couple years matched the movie.  First his wife decides to focus on his weaknesses, faults, and quirks and not the positive and potential side of him and their relationship.  He knows things aren't as good as they could/should be but is blind sided when she decides they should divorce instead of buckling down to give fixing things a chance.  She then proceeds to follow up the divorce announcement with a court battle over custody of their kids.  In the court battle she takes advantage of the courts favoring moms, his quirkiness, and twisting the facts just enough to get everything given to her.  She abuses her court awarded powers and takes the kids (which are more important to him than anything, EVER!) and completely abuses him and the kids and their rights to have relationships and equal access to each other.  She only sees her point of view and doesn't even care when on the one day he gets the kids that she is busy trying to do too much and brings them to him late and interrupts dinner to pick them up early.  He meanwhile does his best to deal with all the B.S., missing his kids, her lack of keeping the kids apart from her negative ideas about him, etc. and still tries to stay positive about her (especially in front of the kids).  Then while still finishing figuring the whole situation out, she starts to date and to replace him with his kids.  He spends his time fixing his faults and improving himself and his quality of job being a dad which she doesn't seem to see or care about and still is primarily concerned with "holding all the cards" because she had the kids who are his heart.  

So much of this was familiar to me and I couldn't help crying, I miss my kids SO very much (and my wife and my family unit being whole)!!  Unfortunately it seems the odds of Athena wanting to give us a good try, even with me being new and much improved and my promise that all the things she claimed to be leaving me for would be gone and all the good things increased to take their place and Athena calling all the shots, are not high.  I do wonder why Athena has involved the kids and done some of the things she has done by going out of her way to hurt me rather than trying to make it work in a situation where she would have no more complaints and could call all the shots?  Or barring that then why not work together just to do our best we can for the kids.  Why try to use an ever changing list of mean tactics to try and get "control" and to hurt me?  From claiming I abuse the kids, then that I would take my anger with her out on the kids, then that I neglect them, then that I starve them, then that I am a criminal/drug dealer over medicinal marijuana, then that being available 24/7 to raise them right is actually a negative thing because they won't learn responsibility like they will watching her slave away at a crap job and having to have others raise them while she is stuck working, and on and on.  I don't understand all the lies and exaggerations and control etc. instead of just being fair and honest.  Like when I answer my questions with the attorneys and courts etc. about Athena.  I tell them what I honestly think: That she is a pretty good mom and anywhere that she has made this mess easier etc., but that I believe the situation I could give the kids raising them here in Cali would be preferable to being stuck back in UT.  About every other time I talk to mat he tells me about wanting me to come and get him and about liking almost everything about Cali better than UT.  And my response is always the same: I tell him thanks for the info, that I cant wait to have him back, and that Mom is fun too right.  The kids both miss Athena some when here in Cali, but they both would choose to be in CA vs. UT despite missing her.  My mom has seen many of the times where Mat, Avi, or both has said without provocation that they can't wait to get back to Cali and she has also seen how (and this is only being honest, not to try and make things a competition) little the kids miss Athena because of how good I do and that they don't miss UT at all except a few family members.  And I really do everything I can to discourage competition between Athena and I or their preferring one of us over the other.  But about the choosing CA over UT, I am open to should they want to tell me about which one they prefer and why (although it seems like Athena usually ignores their preferences since it isn't what I am sure she wants to hear).

Anyway, it is like I said before.  We are both good parents and since we will both probably never agree to giving the other custody, we should do what is fair.  I hope we can come to a good and fair agreement in which access between us and the kids is split and that we will scrap competing and all the crap it entails!

That all being said, here are the pictures of our last folf adventure before Athena left with the kids.  This was our Easter folfing and the kids and I had a really fun time!  We were all sad that we couldn't get Athena to hit the course with us.  We tried for awhile, but finally we had to hit it before running out of time.  This was Avi's first time to get out of the stroller and hike around with us.  After this game I got Avi started throwing at least one hole a game since she did so well out of the stroller and said she wanted to when I asked her.  Now she uses one of my discs and in coming posts you will get to see her throwing.  :)  Mat is always getting better and it wont be long til he is better than me.

Sharing with his Sis! :)  The only thing better than these two is both of them together!!

One of the good mid-flight pics I got this game.

I remember Mat had a great game this day.  I think he even beat me!

He has gotten really good at the side arm shots.  His drive accuracy and distance continues to improve and he even putts side arm!

An Aviendha Monster on the loose! :)

This is one of my favorites.  We were still working with Avi on the thumb sucking here.  Now when she is with me she does great at the no thumb.  :)

So cute and so much fun!  The kids and I have such a good time together.

Avi says she has had fun but is ready to head for home for food and potty.

Aviendha is SO cute and smart.  Lots of times she makes me let her try to buckle before I do it for her.

"I need a little help with the bottom buckle, Dad."

"Thanks, old man!"  My kids have the best smiles!

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